Detoxing and Other Self-Inflicted Horrors

So, it's never been a secret. I have been a caffeine junky for years now. A real junky with the whole eyes that bug and hands that shake without my fix-kind of junky.
I have made feeble attempts to break myself from the addiction- but never got much farther than cutting out a Diet Pepsi in the evenings or slimming back from 12 cups in the morning to 8. About two years ago I cut back on my Starbucks. I did go everyday....and it's about 12 miles away, mind you.

Then I cut back on my afternoon sweet tea earlier this year.....and one thing led to another and I just didn't like the dependency on my "drug" of choice. So, I've gradually (very gradually) started making 1 less cup of coffee in the mornings, started buying fewer sodas and switching to Sprite's (if I go out to eat). Then I realized that it was time to be serious- and stop pussy-footing around the idea of cutting back. I needed to go all the way- or not at all......(the not AT ALL was very tempting- trust me!)

Now. Just for the record. I'm not a nice decaf person. At all. I'm totally irritated and grouchy. I mean- picture worse case scenario....yea, now times that by two.

I'm slowly adjusting. Really. My kiddos reminded me of roaches when the light came on.....when I came out of the office they would all scatter and look for cover.

Anyhow, I'm slowly adjusting to my "unleaded" lifestyle. It's been tough. Lots of headaches. But I can see the light now- and it doesn't give me a splitting headache. :)

I have made a lot of lifestyle changes recently. I'm also dieting- WITH SUCCESS! (that's always a plus!) I've continued my gym membership and go each morning. I can see the results and so do others- which is motivational in its own sense.

In order to get to the gym and back before work requires me getting up earlier. My mom and sister go with me. We leave the house at 7 am each morning so that I can be back to work by 8:45. Do you see a justification to my grumpiness? Waking up earlier, working out, doing without caffeine. I mean my gracious....I think I have a reason to be a little snarky!

Oh, and since I'm talking about self-inflicted pain. Holy moly. I waxed my upper lip for the first time. Actually, my SISTER did the "honors" for me. And good gracious. I spurted tears and stood on my tippy-toes and sucked in and exhaled all at the same time! I mean really- don't laugh. I seriously saw stars. And the funny thing is....it's time to do it again. *LOL* And I will. Oh the things we do in the name of vanity.

So, that's whats been going on with me. Just finding new and improved ways to torture myself everytime I turn around. :) And the funny thing that I just noticed- is that everything (except the decaf thing) my sister is right there with me. I think she may have it out for me?? (LOL) I see a definate pattern here.

An Antebellum Timewarp

This is a post I've wanted to do for quite sometime...and I figure Memorial Day is as fitting of time, as any, to honor the American Flag. Actually, everyday is a day to honor the heritage, hope and freedom that the American Flag symbolizes...but I'll spare you my patriotic speech. :)

For those of you who know my blog- but not me- I grew up in California (mostly). However, I have lived in the south since 1992. If you've ever visited the south you know that if you have a porch- you have a flag. It may not always be an American flag, it may be one of those designer doo-dawdy flags...and more times than not- a confederate flag. (fyi:On my street of about 12 homes there are two confederate flags flying...that's how common they are....or, maybe it's just that I live in redneckville.)






So for this California girl- the whole southern tradition of flag flying was new and intriquing.
And the porches....oh my, the southern porches are phenomenal. Charleston, Savannah, Wilmington, Atlanta, Richmond and many, many, many small towns inbetween boast of beautiful detailed woodwork, tons of dental-teeth molding, wide-welcoming steps, ornate gates and fences all softened by ferns, begonias and the beckoning creak of a porch swing in motion...and more times than not- a flag dutifully, beautifully snapping in the breeze.



As I walk through the old southern towns with the touristy carriages clopping down cobblestone drives- sometimes it's easy to be era-less...and to be caught up in an antebellum timewarp of southern hospitality and traditions.
All of these pictures were taken in Wilmington last month...I will do another "Porch and Flag Post" for July 4th.

Have a fun and safe weekend! Fly a flag, honor a veteran and above all- Shine All Your Light!!

-Cass

A Photographic Jaunt Through The Last Month

The last few weeks have been crazy. Crazier than normal. And- if you know me....you know that's pretty, darn crazy! Life comes at you fast...and time passes even quicker- like a vapor in the mist...a weavers shuttle...or a passing train. Just when you think you have things figured out and can focus.... things change and the present reality vanishes into thin air.

This time last month I was headed to Oak Island with my friend Robin for a long weekend. This time-this month- I'm headed into a very full weekend consisting of our annual campmeeting, lots of company, many late nights of church services and VBS.

This picture was taken at Orton Gardens & Plantation in Wilmington, NC during my weekend at the beach. I LOVE wrought iron gates and structures. One of my favorite verses is "I am the way"...some Bible's translate that as "I am the gate". Although I'm a KJV user....I really like that translation. The gateway to life and all that's good.

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So- back to our jaunt....

Campmeeting is a big deal around here. The church family has been working non-stop preparing to host our annual revival over Memorial Weekend. This is a picture of Sarah and my mom. Sarah is one of the toughest little workers I know.



While the church family labors every Saturday in preparations for campmeeting, I have disappeared from the work roster and have been taking a portrait class taught by my friend Mark Stewart.

AND- For the record: Honestly, I didn't know the workdays were going to be extended through the whole month of May.... Anyhow, the classes are GREAT on every level. New technics. Fresh critics from creative viewpoints. New friends. New shooting locations. Learning to be bolder in what you shoot- and learning to communicate to the subject in a more concise and professional manner....which my children have informed me I REALLY needed to learn. Apparently, I lacked the "bedside manners" that paying customers would appreciate. *LOL*

I have discovered a fact which I already knew but has now been vindicated. I photograph children better than I do adults. I connect....on their level...if you will.
This young lady was one of our models for one of our classes. She was such an eager and photogenic subject. She listened well and paid attention...and even had her own ideas about how a picture should turn out. I learned that listening to the model is a great way of capturing their personality.

And...then of course...I also learned that if you make funny faces at little ones...don't be surprised when they make them back!!!

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Here's a reflection of me on one of my photo jaunts in downtown Wilmington.


The day after I came back from the beach I began a new lifestyle. I started waking up before 7 AM. And I started going to the gym. *It's okay if you just fell out of your chair. I understand. I still can't beleive that CASS the cranky if up before 8 girl is at the gym by 7:15 in the morning and bouncing around.* I would probably see more results (than just dark circles under my eyes) if exercising didn't make me so darn hungry!! I come home at want to eat everything in sight!! My mom is ordering me some protein mix so that should help. I'm feeling sooooo much better though.....until I realize that my son will be 17 on the 29th...and then I realize that the dark circles under my eyes may be a result of age- not the lack of beauty sleep. :( Life does come at us fast. Does Nationwide offer insurance against that? :)

Gosh. There must be something in the air....cuz I never post pictures of myself!! And just to prove me wrong....here's another one of me...at Airlie Gardens



Watch for a special memorial day picture post of American Flags and southern porches.
Shine All Your Light,

Cass

Oh, The Drah-mah.

This week has been exciting....to say the least.

On Wednesday I lost Jakey. I didn't really LOSE him...I just...temporarily couldn't locate him. ;)

It was just moments after finding him asleep on the floor, under the bar and barstools (which I had passed a zillion times in panic, screaming his name) that my mom called and said that my neice, Lilly, was being taken to the hospital. Lilly's a tiny thing- only 8 years old and her blood sugar levels were above 600. She has been in the hospital since Wednesday and has been diagnosed with Type I Diabetes. She's such a trooper though! Much braver than her Aunt Cass, the trypanophobic spazz.

So, as if that's NOT ENOUGH. On Thursday morning, while my mom is at the hospital with Lilly....my father falls off a roof. A support joist cracked beneath him and he came down with a thump. My nerves just didn't seem they could take much more. I'm so grateful that our lifelong friend, Dale, was there with my dad and was able to assist him. Dad is fine. Lilly is fine and Jake is found. However, my nerves are still a little frayed.

I started going to the gym last week. I've gone steadily now for 2 weeks. I can see where a person could become obcessive about weighing and measuring (not that I have) but all the same- it would be a tempting pleasure to see yourself melt away inch by inch. Instead, I'm only measuring once a month. That way it's one big Oreo milkshake worthy celebration! :)

In addition to starting at the gym I also started a portrait class. So far we've had two classes with two hands-on workshop type of outings. I'm really enjoying the series and meeting new people.

Our annual campmeeting is in two weeks; which means my VBS plans need to be wrapped up and ready to roll. Yikes.

Gabe will be 17 in just 2 or so weeks. :( This mommy doesn't adjust well. Oh the drama that goes on within me. Knowing I have to let go and let him experience things for himself- but the inbred nature of a mother that holds on so fiercly. It's one of those things that your mind knows but your heart can't comprehend.

I've got to get ready to go. Have a blessed weekend. Pictures are soon to come. ;)

Shine All Your Light,
Cass

Like, duh.

This weekend I learned that the life of a photographer has been highly overrated and glamorized. : ) That's right. I know. Shocking! {rolling eyes} I'm so clueless sometimes. I shared my revelation with a friend and she said, "Like, duh! It's a passion- and any money or fame you earn from it is sheer luck." I dont want fame, but, "like, duh!" money would be nice.
Last weekend I shot a writers festival at the Jamestown library. The event was nice with authors, poetry reading, book signings, demonstrations and lots of chit-chat and intermingling. I was grateful that I was asked to photograph the event, because it made me get out and do something out of the box.I thoroughly enjoyed the morning in the library.

The library is a restored public school house that was built in the early 20th century. The original wood floors are still intact- and put off that warm golden glow when the sun shines through the windows. There's something to be said about being surrounded by tall cases of books- I'm not sure whats to be said about it- but- there's definately something to be said!

I also attended another photoshoot on Tuesday night. It was knock your socks off awesome. I sorta float from one cluster of photographers to the other at these big events- watching, listening and miming what they say to do. (that's how I learn....I soak it in and then try it) I was so inspired after I left that I came home and tried more lighting technics. It's so much easier with a pro standing over your shoulder than by yourself!! :)Our photo group has some awesome guys (and gals) in it that are so willing to demonstrate and teach thier techniques and share their knowledge.....it's like revival to the photogs soul. ;)

On Saturday, I passed an antique store and just had to turn around, and do a second take of the very special sale they had going on. It was a POLLEN SALE...anything with pollen on it was 35% off. :) Basicly, EVERYTHING was on sale!

I will be updating from the road. I'm spending the weekend with friends on Oak Island. I promise lots of fun pics from our weekend. :) We plan to rent bikes, tour a plantation, see some lighthouses and do nothing but eat, read and sleep and snap pictures. Because, like, duh! I need the downtime.

Zeroing It Out

I attended a photography lesson about light modification a few weeks back. The instructor, Chris Goette said the most important thing to do the night before a photo shoot is to zero out your camera settings. Wipe out the settings so that you're fresh to run the next morning- under new conditions. Yesterday was a rough day, and this morning as I laid in bed thinking about all that transpired I applied Chris' lecture to my heart. Today is a new day, the lighting, focal point and subject matter is different. Yesterday's film has been developed and the image is forever imprinted in history....but today I need a fresh start. I asked the Lord to help me reset my heart and my mind. To zero out all the "default human settings." Reformat my memory card- so to speak. :)
The past weekend was bee-yoo-ti-ful! I was finally able to go take pictures of Jamestown for a photo project. The Jamestown Business Association asked for some pictures of local sites and landscapes...and Sunday afternoon was the day of choice for such a project!

The lake at Jamestown City Park

This small museum is located at the park...behind the dogwood tree is a small cemetary dating back to the Revelutionary War era.

The Dogwoods are in bloom

The entrance into Jamestown at the corner of Guilford and Guilford College Road

An Absence So Great- Jane Kirkpatrick

I received an email from Waterbrook Press saying that "An Absense So Great" by Jane Kirkpatrick was being released, and would I like to participate in the blog- tour? WOULD I?
The first book in the series, "A Flickering Light," is my all-time favorite novel (at the moment) and therefore the chance to read the follow up to the lifestory of Jessie Graebele was answered with a resounding "YES! YES!YES!"

"An Absense So Great" picks up where "A Flickering Light" left off: Jessie Ann Gaebele is an 18 year old photographer in the early 20th century trying to discover herself, forge a career in photography all the while she's dutifully burying emotional memories that seep from her heart. At the end of the first book Jessie's life was turned upside down by unfortunate romantic longings-and as an act of shame and penance she exiles herself to Milwaukee to grow up, squelch the forbidden feelings she has, and to forge a career in an industry dominated by men.

"An Absense So Great" is chocked full of historical encounters with real-life characters being masterfully woven into the story; glimpses into everday life on the great plains at the turn of the century makes the story come to life.
An Absense So Great chisels out a comfy haven in your heart- where we (the readers) give Jessie the freedom to be herself; a place where we inadvertently realize that we're all "Jessie's." Kirkpatrick makes the relation to the dreams, failures and heartache that Jessie Graeble is running from and toward all at the same time quite personal.

Kirkpatrick manages to engulf the reader in the photographic world of the early 20th century, filling the novel with real pictures and observations from the eye of a photographer.

Reading the story of Jessie Graebele is like looking at a portrait for quite sometime before realizing that the eyes your staring into are your very own.

Shine All Your Light,

Cass