I love the word "Ascension".... Its definition is both spiritual and natural- meaning to move in an upward motion; it's very definition encompasses everything that we, as spiritual beings, should seek. I feel like the last few months have been an experience of ascension...coming up from a dark place within me. A slow, but steady uprising of many things that have been dormant within me: inspiration, creativity, magic, sense of curiosity, sense of being. I have make an explorative ascension outside of myself - with a clear forecast of unlimited discovery!
This may seem crazy- but some of this experience of "untethering" has been joyful because, you see I'm a person that truly suffers from anxiety. I worry about the little things, the big things, the mundane things. I worry about worrying too much. I worry that maybe I don't worry enough. I don't have panic attacks (anymore) nor do I pace the floor fretting (anymore)....but its really, really hard to exorcise fear that blatantly claims its rights in a Worry Warts knotted core.
You know, there's so much in this world that tethers our spirits to the mundane. The obvious binds are those which it takes to exist- the 9AM-5PM grind, the self-inflicted trail of tears that we daily march in order to have all the luxuries and what-not's that are hawked to us. It's soul crushing, really....or can be. The less obvious ties that bind us are fear, anger, self-loathing, did I mention fear?
About two months ago I made the conscientious decision to cut the binds that inhibit me from creating and exploring the right side of my brain, the good parts of my heart and my love to create.
I may not be a poet, but I love to write rhymes and stanzas. Writing helps me figure things out, you know? It also helps to remind myself that things will be okay.
I may not be a world class photographer but I love capturing images, moments....memories- for the times when its hard to remember the happy days.
I'm not an artist- but I have scenery in my soul that wants to be painted and lyrics in my heart that wait to be sung. Chords that need to be strummed into a melody of my own making, that no one else may ever knows the lyrics to. It feels to me that suddenly, the ticking of the clock just rings and rings in my ears, each passing moment making an echo through the chambers of my heart---and art, creativity and the worship of the creator for all the wonderful creations that He has imparted to us helps me to embrace the moment. It helps me feel as though those more happening then the clock tick-tocking and time racing away.. The need to create has pierced my armor like a concentrated prism of light through a magnifying glass. I feel like there's light that needs to escape, light that needs to shine, light that has built up to a warm glow of inspiration for all things. Sure, at some point the light will dull (its part of the process) ;Embers will snuff out with the winds of life that blow through...but while its burning, while there's a glow-- I'm writing, singing, painting, photographing, cooking, gluing, weaving, building, sewing and designing. It's like a sickness that once you succumb to it- makes you whole.
I feel a fire-- for the first time in a very, very long time. I'm going to enjoy the journey and (in spite of my fear of heights) I will embrace the ascension! For once, there's a glowing of inspiration deep in my belly- instead of a burning knot of anxiety...and this in and of itself is a reason to glow!
Shine on, dear ones.
The photographs were taken at the Carolina Balloon Festival on October 17th 2015 in Statesville, NC.
