Friday, March 4, 2016

Unwinding

A few weeks ago I felt really bad. Like I was about to come apart at the seams....like any moment I was going to implode and it was going to be messy.
I made an appointment and went straight to the doctor. She asked if I was TRYING to have a stroke.
My BP was 148/118.
We had the predictable "lets look at whats causing this.....I would like to put you on anxiety medication...do you need to speak to a counselor?"
I spoke to the doctor at length- assuring her (if not me) that none of the issues causing me anxiety and stress were "internal".....
I have a son deployed to Kuwait. I have a daughter graduating this year- SENIOR YEAR IS EXPENSIVE. Said child is applying to colleges. Same child need a vehicle. I have a grandchild on the way. I'm growing a business. I'm butcher, baker, candlestick maker. I had two kiddos get married last year. I moved. I started a new job. And the list goes on. and on. and on.

SO. Instead of agreeing to medications. I agreed to purposeful relaxation. I agreed to quiet time. I agreed to read.

I was given a prescription to read a book a month this year.
I was given a prescription to blog.
I was given a prescription to ride my bike.
I was given permission to sit.
I was given permission to listen. To birds and wind. And to nothing in particular.

I've started sleeping better.

Today was a great exercise in my new found art of purposeful relaxation.

I sat outside for two hours reading- because I'm trying to finish my SECOND book for the month!