Friday, August 5, 2016

The People I've Been

I was thinking about some events that happened a few years ago and the thought came to me "I'm not that person anymore."

What a strange thought. Even stranger, is the question of asking yourself, "So then, who are you?"

Are we different people living one life? Or does life mold us into different people who grow, become enlightened and eventually break the current mold?

Scripture supports the idea of us growing, evolving (if you will) into something greater.

The conversation I was having with myself reminds me of a song from Amy Grant's early works; a song written by her first husband, Gary Chapman titled All I Have To Be

When the weight of all my dreams
Is resting heavy on my head
And the thoughtful words of help and hope
Have all been nicely said
But I'm still hurting, wondering if I'll ever be the one
I think I am--I think I am.
Then you gently re-remind me
That You've made me from the first
And the more I try to be the best
The more I get the worst.
And I realize the good in me is only there because of who
You are, who You are.
And all I ever have to be is what
You've made me
Any more or less would be a step out of Your plan
As you daily recreate me help me always keep in mind
That I only have to do what I can find
And all I ever have to be
All I have to be
All I ever have to be is what You've made me
The wonderful thing is knowing that we are all still a work in progress. We will shed the current skins of who we are as we grow and become closer to the Lord. The beauty of grace is that in His eyes, we are already complete and perfected in Him- no matter what stage of life- or person we are at the moment. In His eyes, we are not just a child. We are His.

Leave the Light On,


Monday, May 16, 2016

Ain't That Dandy....

Dandelions have always been my thing; a symbol of sorts that I've always related to. My grandpa even calls me Sandie-Dandie and has a picture of me on his bookshelf picking dandelions.

I guess I relate to them in several ways: I show up where I'm not supposed to be. I'm messy. I come apart at the seams with the slightest amount of turbulence. I'm pretty good at taking root wherever I land. I can find hope in the most unlikeliest of circumstances.

If I had a dandelion right now, I'd wish that life was still as simple as just needing a dandelion to make a wish.....

Friday, March 4, 2016


A few weeks ago I felt really bad. Like I was about to come apart at the any moment I was going to implode and it was going to be messy.
I made an appointment and went straight to the doctor. She asked if I was TRYING to have a stroke.
My BP was 148/118.
We had the predictable "lets look at whats causing this.....I would like to put you on anxiety you need to speak to a counselor?"
I spoke to the doctor at length- assuring her (if not me) that none of the issues causing me anxiety and stress were "internal".....
I have a son deployed to Kuwait. I have a daughter graduating this year- SENIOR YEAR IS EXPENSIVE. Said child is applying to colleges. Same child need a vehicle. I have a grandchild on the way. I'm growing a business. I'm butcher, baker, candlestick maker. I had two kiddos get married last year. I moved. I started a new job. And the list goes on. and on. and on.

SO. Instead of agreeing to medications. I agreed to purposeful relaxation. I agreed to quiet time. I agreed to read.

I was given a prescription to read a book a month this year.
I was given a prescription to blog.
I was given a prescription to ride my bike.
I was given permission to sit.
I was given permission to listen. To birds and wind. And to nothing in particular.

I've started sleeping better.

Today was a great exercise in my new found art of purposeful relaxation.

I sat outside for two hours reading- because I'm trying to finish my SECOND book for the month!