I highly respect the writings, life and philosophy of CS Lewis. When I heard this quote it cut me a little and convicted me a lot.
My experiences with "LOVE" haven't been very good. In fact, several have commented that my life should be a book or Lifetime movie.
I've known pain and rejection on levels that are reprehensible. Is there ever enough time and healing that the "broken" become "unbroken"? Experiences have left me gun-shy on a level that I didn't realize until I heard this quote a few weeks ago.
Don't get me wrong: I can LOVE. I feel things so deeply. I can give, care, share. I can even forgive.....I have a powerful sense of hope and promise. I can feel. I love so very deeply....
What I can't do is lower my shield, relax my guard or even feign a modicum of vulnerability. I have worked so hard to not ever be naive again that I've lost my ability to experience vulnerability....and according to Mr. Lewis....that translates as losing the ability to be loved.
I can love....I just can't allow myself to be loved. That is a terrifying revelation.
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