The Eyebrow Whisperer

I had one of those experiences Saturday that leaves you chuckling to yourself and wondering, "Did that just REALLY happen?" 

I needed to have my eyesbrows waxed-and ran into a store and the lady there was surprisingly able to get my right in. The place was VERY busy with manicures and pedicures and I was surprised that the waxing lady wasn't busy as well.

So, they bring me back to this quiet little room and have me sit up on a table- very much like you would at the doctors office.

Then, she turns on a bright examination light- very much like they would use at a doctor's office. 

Then, she puts on gloves. I was starting to sweat, because I have an acute case of doctoritis. I don't like being "examined". And I was feeling very much like I do when I'm at the doctors office.

The little asian lady pulls the blinding light closer to my face. Her eyebrows knit together as shes looking me over. She kept staring. Thinking. I was beginning to think maybe this was all a misunderstanding? I wasn't asking for anything other than having my eyebrows waxed. I was truly concerned for a brief moment.

Then in her clipped accent and broken English- while still scrutinizing my face she very matter of factly said, "Whoevah do your eyebrahs mess up your face. Your eyebrah too fahr apart. Make you nose big." (she demonstrated the obtrusive length of my nose by drawing in the air with one hand- while still holding my bangs back and staring at my face.) "You face too long.Too skinny." Then to really drove the point home, with her doctors lamp, gloves and table and all the bedside manners of a..... buffoon (?) she re diagnosed me to make sure I understood. " Your nose too big. Really mess up your face."

She gave me a moment to let this sink in. She seemed very grave...and politely gave me a minute to handle the heaviness of the situation. She even turned her back from me to allow me a moment. The seriousness of having a messed up face should have hit me with a little more emotion. Surely, this news must have deserved a moment of silence. I bit my lip. Not to restrain tears of sorrow....but, because I was trying to retain a giggle. I had to be mature and allow the solemn seriousness of the matter take hold. For goodness sake! This was VERY serious. I needed to pinch myself. Obviously. I mean: I have a messed up face. Why hasn't someone told me?? All this time I thought my big nose was genetics.....but NO!! It's been my waxers fault alllll these years!!!!!!!!!!!!! Maybe I should have been feeling anger? You know- all these years with a messed up face could really cause a person some real emotional scar tissue. Dark  bitterness could take root. Uncertainty and trust issues- just around the corner! But the dark cloud of bitterness lifted suddenly- and a bright ray of hope and sunshine came into the room: With a big smile she cheerily said, "I can fix!"

The lady took about 20 minutes to un-mess up my face. She was quite pleased with the results.She kept admiring my eyebrows. She's a legend, I tell ya!
I couldn't really tell the difference....in fact, I don't FEEL "un-messed" up...nor does my nose appear any shorter...but she was very, very pleased with the results. Without asking she booked me another appointment for a few weeks from now- so that no one dare mess up her art of arching. She also gave me very firm instructions to NOT sleep on the right side of my head. It's causing one eyebrow to be too short. Hmmmm. She may be on to something there.
She gave me my appointment card. With a set date and time- which I guess I'm just EXPECTED to make work with my schedule....no questions asked. I don't want to upset the Eyebrow Whisper.

SHINE- and ARCH!! :)  Cass